


Divide / Fall Apart

by kaibasetos



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Drabble, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 05:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3197516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaibasetos/pseuds/kaibasetos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The moth in my stomach has been trying to crawl up my throat for days. He thinks that you are light. He thinks that you can save him. He thinks that you will.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Divide / Fall Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short, very introspective piece. The summary is taken from the poem ["Icarus"](http://5000letters.tumblr.com/post/99074408657/the-moth-in-my-stomach-has-been-trying-to-crawl-up) by Azra T. Enjoy!

Being around Jounouchi is stifling. He is light and warmth incarnate, drawing in thick darkness and swallowing it whole, shredding it to pieces within him. Kaiba can feel his own darkness summoned by that siren call, feel it pressing up against his skin and writhing in his hands and mouth, trying to burst free. Trying to be consumed by that brilliance. He fights so hard to keep it in that it makes his teeth clench, makes his bones brittle, makes him frail and loathing.

His darkness is too strong for anyone to destroy. He has learned to live with it and still it binds and blinds him. It is alien, it is powerful, it is far too much. It seeps out of his body like a toxin.

Jounouchi is light and warmth incarnate, but he is still too fragile a soul for the broad, monstrous shadow Kaiba casts.

Yet he stands bravely in that shadow still, and Kaiba can’t bear it but he wants it anyway, selfishly, desperately. He wants so badly to be near him and to be so far away from him. He wants so badly to claw him until they bleed together and to kiss him until they burn together. He wants, he wants, he wants. If he were a lesser man the want would break him in two, but instead it wages wars inside him, blasting apart memorials of old emotion that have been guarded for years and unleashing a creature of hunger that Kaiba hadn’t even known existed in him. Not before Jounouchi.

He has never felt so shaken apart by anything as he has Jounouchi’s eyes, welcoming and laughing. He has never felt so put back together by anything as he has Jounouchi’s smile, easy and happy. Jounouchi is everything he cannot be, a boy with fire and love ready in his fists and tongue, and envy makes Kaiba’s blood run frigid cold. He wants to be like that. He can never be like that.

He is poison barbs and bitterness, and Jounouchi wants him anyway.

Just the thought unhinges him.

When they kiss, it feels like an asteroid slamming into the earth. When they touch, Kaiba can feel the wreckage of the impact. His hands in Jounouchi’s hair, Jounouchi’s hands all over him, their lips colliding hard and bruising. The sounds that Jounouchi makes against him, fervid and wondering, like he’s never been kissed like this before and never will again in all his life. The way Jounouchi says his name like it’s a sacred prayer he’d repeat all night or a double-edged weapon sharp enough to slit his throat. All of it, all of it makes Kaiba feels like a beast, like a god, like a natural disaster. Like something too large and too feral for the body he’s confined in.

He needs to devour. He needs to be devoured.

He needs Jounouchi to need the way he does.

Together they’re a modern phenomenon, they’re a historical revolution, they’re wounds torn open full of salt and haphazardly mended. They are something that Kaiba, in all his years of precise calculation and tedious preparation, never could have readied himself for. Every second he spends with Jounouchi’s touch wandering over his skin is something that pulls him undone, something that twists the pain in his chest into intimate longing, something _more_. He can never get close enough, he can never do enough, he can never be enough, but god, oh god, how he wishes he could. How he wishes so loud he swears they could hear it in the heavens above.

His shadow is inky, threatening black, and Jounouchi steps into it without a second thought, raising his vibrant face to the unknown and the damaged. It’s such a mindless act, so reckless, so defiant, but it makes Kaiba fall apart every single time. He hates so much that hatred has become his companion, his home, his sword and his throne, but he can’t hate Jounouchi. Not fully, not entirely. Jounouchi disarms him, and when the light and dark meet where his fingers run along the curve of Kaiba’s spine and where his lips brush against Kaiba’s throat, he is white-hot electricity. White-hot, flaming radiance. Anguish and desire come spilling out of Kaiba as though he’s been split apart.

His darkness is too strong for anyone to destroy, but Kaiba lets him try.

Eventually, he may even let him succeed.

 


End file.
